We Talk About Horrible Things w/Bruce Greene - The Kinda Funny Morning Show 10.26.17
17 Kinda Weird Things We All Do
This article originally appeared on GoodHousekeeping.com.
1. Sneak a "sniff" test.
We've all been there: You smell something funky and worry it's you, so you casually lift your arm and slightly tilt your head to give your pits a whiff. This move works when you can't remember if you put on deodorant, too.
2. Fake a yawn to smell your breath.
Same tactics as above, different stink source. The breath test is legendary, so don't even try to say you don't do it. Too bad you might be nose blind to your own bodily smells.
3. Shave your toes.
Those random hairs on your feet? That's called androgenic hair, and it pops up during puberty due to higher levels of the hormone androgen. Thankfully, no one has to know it's there. Shave it or wax it, and problem solved.
4. Wear the same clothes two days in a row.
Maybe not the same outfit, but at least the same pair of socks or the bra you wore yesterday. If you're going to be seeing the same people again, that is — the weekends are a whole other ballgame. Besides, you don't need to wash your jeans that often anyway.
5. Pick your nose.
What's worse: Having something stuck up your nostril or getting caught with a finger up there? We all have to do some maintenance, it's totally cool.
6. Pick your teeth with something that, well, just shouldn't be in your mouth.
This includes everything from earrings and bobby pins to wrappers and credit cards. Of course, a straw is always handy too.
7. Pick your toes and toenails.
Yeah, we know it's gross, but humans just naturally like to pick things (see #5 and #6). Besides, who else is going to remove the sock lint?
8. Look in the toilet after you go to the bathroom.
If Dr. Oz taught us anything, it's that what our poop looks like matters, and you'd be a foolnotto check.
9. Pee in the shower.
One survey found that a whopping 62% of Americans have urinated in the shower, and we bet countless more just didn't want to admit it on that survey.
10. Pretend to text or talk on the phone when you're waiting for someone.
Sure, scrolling through Facebook works fine to pass the time, but you still resort to this age-old trick. Because nothing is more awkward than waiting around alone in a crowded restaurant or a random street corner for a late friend.
11. Check under the bed or behind the shower curtain to make sure nobody is there.
Maybe you don't really believe the bogeyman is hiding behind every corner like you did as a kid, but old habits die hard. (Or maybe you're at a friend's house and just being a total snoop.)
12. Have imaginary arguments in your head.
At least you win every time.
13. Fall into a sappy video clickhole.
You start out innocently watching a military reunion video (and happily crying), but when you look up, it's been 45 minutes and you've somehow watched another 10 videos.
14. Keep tabs on your ex (or ex-friend) on social media.
Maybe not to stalker level, but admit it, you do a search every so often. That's what Facebook exists for, right? Everyone wants to know what their old flames are up to, even if they've been happily married for years.
15. Google yourself.
It even has a name: egosurfing. According to one survey, 47% of Americans who use the Internet have searched for themselves online.
16. Pretend to not see someone you know.
Sound familiar? You spot them coming towards you, hope they don't notice you, quickly look down at your cell phone or pretend to rifle through your purse, and mindlessly breeze by. If there's no eye contact, you're golden, right? Sometimes you just don't want to talk.
17. Pace the house when you're on a long phone call.
We're not sure why, but long phone chats always demand a few trips from the living room by way of the dining room and then to bedroom before you return to the kitchen. At least it's exercise.
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