Snow Patrol - One Hundred Things You Should Have Done in Bed



What should you have done in bed by now?


in bed

Make your own porn

Difficulty rating: 4/10

There’s nothing sexier than making and watching your own xxx films; according to a poll by dating site BeNaughty, it’s the activity couples find most arousing. But perfect performance begins with smart preparation. Make sure you have all the props to hand: condoms, lube or anything more, um, specialist. An intermission just as you reach the good part is a certain mood killer. And light it well: use lamps with nothing stronger than a 40-watt bulb, set to the side of the bed/sofa/kitchen worktop. Overhead lighting will magnify every flaw. Start with a test shot and tell her how great she looks – she needs to feel comfortable to perform at her best. Otherwise, forget a sequel.

Internet sex roulette

Difficulty rating: 6/10

A Reuters study found that almost half of men under 40 have slept with someone they met online. But if you’re not one of them, your options are growing by the day. Try Tinder or Bang with Friends for immediacy. The Bang with Friends app works if there’s a loose acquaintance you’ve got your eye on, but for the buzz of anonymous sex, there’s nothing quite like Tinder. Those friends who recently changed their Facebook profile picture to one taken in a misleadingly flattering light – they’re the ones already using it.

Master the multiple orgasm

Difficulty rating: 9/10

As a man, you’re at a disadvantage: women can have unlimited orgasms, while you’re restricted to maybe three a day (unlike your 16-year-old self). However, it’s possible to skirt close to climax and back away, allowing you both to experience multiple orgasms. As you near ejaculation, breathe in, withdraw your penis (bar an inch) and clench your lower abdomen as you would for a core exercise. Practise strengthening the muscles and you’ll rival her capacity to multi-gasm within a month.

Sex with someone older

Difficulty rating: 7/10

This one delivers double benefits. With the age difference, you’ve got an added sense of taboo plus the chance to pick up a few new tricks. According to a study by sex-toy makers Love Honey, women’s sexual confidence (read: skillset) peaks between the ages of 35 and 44. But don’t be intimidated – treat it as a challenge. True, your performance will come under some scrutiny, but you’ll know how to impress any woman afterwards.


in bed 2

Sex where she's the boss

Difficulty rating: 5/10

Taking the lead every time is hard work. Contrary to popular belief, most women don’t need much persuading to pick up the reins – just encouragement. The easiest way to bring out the boss in her is to turn it into a game. I recommend ‘forced’ oral sex – you on your back while she straddles your face and commands you to take her to orgasm; or controlled masturbation – you face one another without touching, until she permits it.

Have a threesome

Difficulty rating: 8/10

You knew it’d be on the list somewhere. But the everyman switch-flicker is hard to orchestrate and even harder to pull off successfully. I’m forever hearing from men that, once they’ve convinced their other half to invite another woman in, they either end up feeling left out or berated for focusing their attention in the wrong direction. “Make her the star of your fantasy, then follow these three golden rules,” says sex counsellor Fran Powell. First, always let her select the woman (lest you be subject to extra questioning). Secondly, find that woman online (propositioning friends isn’t worth the trouble). Lastly, work out what you want to do in advance. There’s nothing more unattractive than a man darting up and down the bed like an overexcited Labrador that’s received two squeaky toys for Christmas. Decide what you want to do to her/them, give it your full attention and move on.

Sex in public

Difficulty rating: 7/10

A locked room in a public place presses all your fantasy buttons, found research by examiner.com. Be savvy when picking the venue. I’ve sampled more than a few and DIY stores are by far the best: huge cubicles, pristinely clean and deathly quiet. There’s no better way to liven up buying your new kitchen.






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Date: 12.12.2018, 18:03 / Views: 43163